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Creativity, Balance, and Burn Out

Posted on April 24, 2023 By kcwm No Comments on Creativity, Balance, and Burn Out

In 2021, I started writing music to use for when I streamed and figured, “Why not put this online for others to use?”. At the time, I didn’t feel like there was an easily ready source of DMCA-free rock music, so I might fill a small niche.

As a streamer, I was never a formula for success, nor did I think I’d ever be or really want to be. What I wanted to do was show that, as a parent, I was OK with gaming, encouraged my kids to play games, and it was something that adults should be able to do without shame AND even play games with their kids too. I was thrilled when I had any number of viewers and when some of them came back to watch.

When I started streaming the writing process of what would become Volumes One and Two, I ended up streaming around three times a week for a couple of hours, but would also work offline for a couple of hours. On days I didn’t stream, I worked on fleshing out the song ideas I’d started on stream. When everything was said and done, I spent three to four hours a day, five days a week writing music.

If I recall correctly, I released three albums in six months. The first two volumes had 13 songs each and the third had 10, and Volumes One and Two had seven original songs each. The other six songs on both albums were remixes of two EPs I worked on from 2017 through 2019. I used them so I could release Volume One a little earlier than originally planned. All in all, that was 24 original songs, some with numerous guitar parts, all within about six months’ time.

For years, I’d dreamed of doing music for a living, but after six months of spending 15-20 hours working on music in addition to streaming (which requires a different kind of energy), I was burned out. I learned that I do not want to do music full time, at least not by myself, though I’m sure I’d change my mind if there were to be a healthy salary included in doing it. Worse than that, the burn out killed my desire to play guitar, write music, or stream. It took two months before I picked the guitar up again.

In the first few days of 2022, I nearly died due to Diabetic Ketoacidosis, a condition triggered by a new medication I’d started taking regularly in November of 2021. It would take months before I’d be able to sit up for more than an hour and a half or so at a time. Even then, I turned to music to help balance the mental space I was in and I began working on new songs, not knowing if they would be for kcwm or Cold the Winter, my project for “full” songs with lyrics and vocals.

In 2022, I released four singles, one of which (“Go On”) is one I’m most proud of, composition wise, but I never recaptured that initial push. My ceiling for creative energy was much lower than it was in the previous year. I didn’t stream much of, or maybe any of, it. I worked on a few other songs, but they all remain unfinished.

D&D

In October of 2022, I began running a bi-weekly session of Dungeons and Dragons for some friends of mine, one of which was the DM of the previous session that had lasted for 2+ years. He’d been itching to play a character instead of DMing, and I wanted to provide him the opportunity to do so. Initially, I was going to use an actual D&D campaign, but made the choice to homebrew something so I could better work in the characters’ backstories and adjust things as their current stories developed. While this was, is, and will be more creatively fulfilling, it requires a lot more work.

Most of my creative energy is spent writing adventures for my players, working on the overall story, changing that story as sessions develop, and painting miniatures that I intend to use for these adventures. This has been further complicated by taking up 3D printing, though that is partially passive since I have to wait hours for the miniatures to print.

Now, I’m not complaining, not at all. I immensely look forward to our Saturday games. Only recently have I run into a situation where what I’ve planned, worked on, or adapted has given me a buffer. In theory, I don’t have to do anything D&D related for the next month to month and a half because I have enough adventures planned. Well, except painting miniatures, but I’m enjoying that.

Returning to Music

Toontrack recently announced the released of a long-awaited sequel software to EZKeys called, unsurprisingly, EZKeys 2, which is available for download starting May 16th. This software allows you to drag and drop pre-programmed MIDI grooves to create a song, choose a digital recreation of a number of key-based instruments, change and adjust the chords being played, but not manually adjust any of the notes being played to better fit what’s being played within the chords to the song. EZKeys 2 changes that, and adds a few more cool features that I’ll have to explore to have a bare understanding of how to under-utilize them.

With EZKeys 2 I intend to use keyboard and piano parts in more of my music as well. In addition to that, my friends, JD and Matt (who I worked on Low-Fi, Nice Try (LFNT) and Cold the Winter with) have started putting together ideas for the next LFNT project. What that combination of events did was help reawaken my desire to work on music again, both for them, and for kcwm.

When May 16th rolls around, I intend to start work on music again. This includes streaming a good portion of the writing process of both kcwm and LFNT music. Cold the Winter will likely be folded into kcwm in some capacity, though I haven’t fully worked out or even decided on what that would look like.

Balance

In the past, I’ve found that I struggle with having focus on more than one creative outlet at a time. Between music, D&D/painting miniatures, writing a novel, and gaming/streaming, my energy ebbs and flows between each of them, most often at the expense of the others. I know I need to find balance, but my brain, which might very well have a bit of undiagnosed ADHD going on, gets caught up with moving each hobby further along.

Recently, I did learn how to balance painting miniatures. I simply paint until what is likely arthritis in my hand forces me to stop. I do things in small bursts for about an hour a day and I’ve been able to continuously work on painting since October.

My plan is to return and stream the following:

  • Music – Working on writing songs, but not recording them (this could change). The stress of recording live was part of I think drove that burn out.
  • D&D – World building, lore, miniature painting, etc. I believe a couple of my players watch my stream, so writing campaign-specific things might not work too well
  • Gaming – I have a number of previously well thought of PC games to play: Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption 2, Baldur’s Gate 3 (which either hasn’t officially released yet or recently released), Cult of Lamb, Hades, etc. There’s also the new Zelda and Star Wars games and probably others I’d want to play.

I do miss being a part of communities, building my own, and interacting with the people I’ve met on Twitch throughout the years. It’d be cool, not to mention fulfilling, to repair some of the bridges that I’ve neglected and network again. I might be a bit of an introvert, but I do believe that people need people, even if it’s just a select few people, and places like Twitch allow introverts like me to play extrovert from time to time.

I guess that’s all for now. This was written over the course of an hour or so and just meanders around without as much focus as I’d like. About par for the course.

  • KC
DMCA-Free music, Health, KCWM

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It has come time to part ways with one of the cool It has come time to part ways with one of the coolest Muff-based fuzzes I’ve ever played: the Blackout Effectors Musket, which is the right side of this pedal, the Twosome. 

You might question what a Muff fuzz is, and if you’re a non-guitarist/musician, I point you to Smashing Pumpkins’ album Siamese Dream, notably “Today” and “Cherub Rock”. 

Fuzzes have been used for a long time and the Electro Harmoniz Big Muff is one of the most well known. 

However, this allows me to bring other fuzz sounds into my bag of tricks and that makes me excited.
Gear that came and went in 2023: Pedal Edition (ma Gear that came and went in 2023: Pedal Edition (maybe pt. 1)

There might have been more. I’ll have to check an Imgur folder

• Jet Pedals Lion 
• Lovepedal Echo Plexi (traded toward Friedman PT-20 v2 head/cab
• Emerson Paramount (traded toward Friedman PT-20 v2 head/cab
• Line 6 HX Stomp + extension pedal (traded for Crate Palomino v16 and cash)
• TC Electronic Sub n Up (came in 2022)
• Boss DS-1
• Old Blood Noise Endeavors Float
• Kelley Katana Mini Boost
• Ibanez TS-9 Tubescreamer (traded for Katana Mini Boost)
• Barber Gain Changer (traded for Bearfoot FX Honeybee X)
• Jackson Audio Broken Arrow v1 (traded for Fulltone Fulldrive 2)
• Line 6 Helix LT

Gone but not pictured:
• JHS Buffered Splitter (traded for Tubescreamer)
• Fulltone Fulldrive 2 (traded for Emerson Les Paul Harness)

Bought and returned:

• Used Jackson Audio Asabi (defective)
• New Jackson Audio Asabi (gain was not useful)
•Jackson Audio Golden Boy mini

The Lion, Float, Paramount, and DS-1 were taken in as trade for the light blue tele in my recent guitar post 

I’ll probably think of a couple more I missed because I don’t still have the pictures of them, or never took pictures because I never posted them for sale. 

#guitar #guitarpedals #pedals
@bugdayband It’s glorious @bugdayband It’s glorious
@teresa.aldaco, ignore this post. I was going th @teresa.aldaco, ignore this post. 

I was going through my photos today and saw a number of guitars and pedals that I’ve sold/traded or bought in 2023. 

These are 10 of the guitars that came into and left my possession in 2023.

• 2016 Fender Chris Shiflett Telecaster Deluxe
• 2019 Gibson Les Paul Tribute DC
• 2021 Squier 40th Anniversary Jazzmaster, Vintage Edition
• Partscaster Tele
• 2021 Sterling Avis AX3FM
• 2022 Gibson Les Paul Traditional Pro V Satin
• 2007 Epiphone “1966”  G-400 SG
• LTD M-1000 with HetSet EMG (can’t remember the year)
• 1970s Session Les Paul Custom Copy
• 1997 Squier Affinity Strat (this year was one of the first years of the Affinity models)

I also sold or traded:

2022 Squier Classic Vibe ‘60s Strat
2018 Fender P-Bass Deluxe FSR
2012 Gibson Les Paul Traditional 

There might be one or two more I’m forgetting about. I also have a few that are waiting to be listed for sale too. 

It’s been a bit crazy, and 2024 is off to a start of its own. 

#guitar
Out getting into some Christmas Mischief and neede Out getting into some Christmas Mischief and needed some background music. It’s a good choice of good music. 

Finding new music from half the country (or world) away, or even right next door, is one of the best things about the internet and social media. Without it, I’d have never found bands like @bugdayband, No More Kings, @zwetschconnor, @clinically.sane.band, the musicians I’ve met and talked to, or people wouldn’t have found my music. 

Seek out new music. Don’t stay stuck in your music habits for too long like I too often do. I do love me some ‘90s rock, but I needed to move beyond what gets played on Lithium. 

Finding that new song that gives you chills with a lyric, when the distortion kicks in, a transition between section, or opening chord is never a disappointing feeling. 

It’s not 2024 yet, but we don’t have to wait to make a resolution to find and embrace new music by artists we might never have found if it weren’t for our friends, or an algorithm, saying “hey, check this out”.
Well, no surprise that I’m my #1 listened to ban Well, no surprise that I’m my #1 listened to band. Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift are due to my kid, but @bugdayband ranking up there with Pearl Jam is good stuff. You should check them out. 

#spotifywrapped #kcwmmusic #rock
Grayson, aka Buddy aka Buh aka Bubs, is our sole r Grayson, aka Buddy aka Buh aka Bubs, is our sole remaining cat after all three of our senior cats succumbed to complications of their age. 

He’s a good companion and has become extra clingy since Mike’s passing in September. He sleeps with us at night and responds to “Want to get some food and go to sleep?”

He really is the best buh. 

#grayson #graycatsofinstagram #cats #catsofinstagram #graycats
Five or six years ago, I bought a Gibson Les Paul Five or six years ago, I bought a Gibson Les Paul Classic in green oceanburst. After a setup from @bigjohnsguitars it played how I’ve always wanted a Les Paul to play. 

After the honeymoon phase was over, and after recording some tracks, I wasn’t happy with the sound. It was very dark and muddy. John helped me install some new pickups, but the problem persisted. 

I eventually met and talked to the guy who runs @wtonesupply and we talked pickups. I dropped my Les Paul off and he got to work winding me some of his pickups. 

We made the trip out to Allen (which is why we ate at Portillos) to pick it up last night and I finally got a good chance to put some time into playing it. 

Problem solved. 

Our original plan deviated a bit once he had the guitar  but the choices he made has proven to be the remedy it needed. Plus, the covers he used look slick! 

With a trade finding a new home for the guitar that displaced this one as my go-to Les Paul, it’s nice to have this back in its rightful place. I can’t wait to record a song or two with it real soon. 

Finding good folks that do even better work has been something I’m very thankful for. Those individuals and the many conversations I’ve had and work they’ve done for me is something I hope every musician can experience.
It’s a @bugdayband kind of day. You should make It’s a @bugdayband kind of day. You should make it a Bug Day kind of day too. Because #guitar #altrock is good for the soul.
Remixing the first 7 songs from Volumes One and Tw Remixing the first 7 songs from Volumes One and Two is coming along. 

Some songs sound better after the first attempt, some require a tweak or two, and others require whole new parts be recorded. 

I still need to re-record “Octivation”, “Lost It All In Factory”, and “Let’s Get Behind Them” for different reasons. 

I’ve learned a lot between the beginning of this whole process and now, and you can hear the difference in the originals vs. the remix. 

Want access to listen to the remixes? DM me and let’s talk about it. I’d love to talk about the process and hear your feedback.
During the 9/13 @pearljam show, we were treated to During the 9/13 @pearljam show, we were treated to Eddie Vedder dressed up as a mirrorball and a story behind the jacket and helmet for “Wishlist”. I recorded very little during the show, but him spinning around was too good to pass up. I tried to catch it on the big screen but only caught a moment of it.
I worked out two separate trades on Sunday that in I worked out two separate trades on Sunday that involved a #strat as part of the deal. Funny thing is that the #stratocaster is not my favorite type of guitar to play, but both were interesting. This doubled the number of strats I have.

1) The red #Fender is made up of parts from Fender guitars, but I do not believe that any parts are from the same guitar. 

• The body is refinished matte red with some roadworn-ish type relicing, which is just gold underneath...maybe the original color?

• Fender Vintage Noiseless pickups with a Clapton mid-boost mod. It sounds really good. 

• Neck is from a 2013 MIM Floyd Rose Fender. It's a really nice, comfortable neck. 

• Thick solid steel block. It has excellent sustain

If I keep this one, it will get some Fender Locking Tuners

2) The black one is a #Squier Affinity Strat, but it's not a normal Affinity. It's a 1997 model, the first year they offered the Affinity line and it's a full-sized, hardwood (likely Alder) body with a 22-fret rosewood neck. It's a pretty nice neck, especially for a Squier. 

It's hefty for a strat too...it's not light like so many of the Squier Affinity line. Having that full-sized body adds some weight. 

The pickups leave a bit to be desired, which is par for the course with the Affinity line, but this guitar would make a great modding platform for someone interested in doing so. 

Heck, if that red one hadn't come through and I didn't already have two other nice strats (both Squiers, interestingly), I'd likely look to make some modifications.

----

In the end, I will take time to consider whether I like the red partscaster or my Squier Classic Vibe '60s strat more. Whichever one wins gets the Vintage Noiseless. Clapton mod, and stainless steel block (as long as it fits the Squier). 

I have some decisions to make.
New upgrade for KCWM music purposes. Next recordin New upgrade for KCWM music purposes. Next recordings will feature this 2004 Dr. Z Maz 18 Jr. 

#NAD #newampday #drz #maz18 #guitar #guitaramps
Back in '95, my grandmother bought my first real e Back in '95, my grandmother bought my first real electric guitar from a pawn shop in the small town I grew up in. I think we paid $85 for it with a hard case. 

I played that guitar a lot, its pictured with me in the Jazz Band photo from my junior year (covered in a ton of stickers...so classy), and I recorded songs with it. 

When the electronics started to die, I wasn't as knowledgeable in what could be repaired and I junked it. I sold the parts and moved on. It wasn't until years later that I realized what I'd given up and I've often priced them, but never pulled the trigger. 

Yesterday (7/19/23), this popped up on Facebook Marketplace from a local shop. At first, I thought it was interesting and didn't intend on buying it, but after giving it some thought, I went and did just that. 

This was a bit of a nostalgic purchase. If I named my guitars, this one would be called Dot or Syb (short for Sybil), after my grandmother.

This Squier Contemporary Strat (27-6800) was made from '84 - '87 in Japan. From the info I've gathered online, it's a 24.75" scale instead of the normal 25.5" Fender Scale. The pickups each have an on/off switch so you can turn all three on at the same time, and the humbucker has an on/off/coil-tap switch. The tuners are Fender-branded Gotoh. 

It has some definite wear and tear, but I don't care. 

You'll definitely be hearing this on some upcoming songs, as I intend for it to split time with the tele I use for lead parts, as I did with the modified Squier '51 it's replacing did. 

Anyone in the DFW area looking for a cool modified Squier '51? 

#guitar #fender #squier #stratocaster #strat #fenderjapan #mij #ssh #rock #kcwmmusic #dmcafreemusic #dmcafreerock #nostalgia
I need to clean up my desk a bit more but I just r I need to clean up my desk a bit more but I just replaced my two 1440p monitors with this 34” ultra wide. I’m able to see every track on the mixer of Studio One 5 and so much of Superior Drummer 3. It’s so awesome.
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