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Featuring the DMCA-Free Rock of KCWM & Cold the Winter

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Creativity, Balance, and Burn Out

Posted on April 24, 2023 By kcwm No Comments on Creativity, Balance, and Burn Out

In 2021, I started writing music to use for when I streamed and figured, “Why not put this online for others to use?”. At the time, I didn’t feel like there was an easily ready source of DMCA-free rock music, so I might fill a small niche.

As a streamer, I was never a formula for success, nor did I think I’d ever be or really want to be. What I wanted to do was show that, as a parent, I was OK with gaming, encouraged my kids to play games, and it was something that adults should be able to do without shame AND even play games with their kids too. I was thrilled when I had any number of viewers and when some of them came back to watch.

When I started streaming the writing process of what would become Volumes One and Two, I ended up streaming around three times a week for a couple of hours, but would also work offline for a couple of hours. On days I didn’t stream, I worked on fleshing out the song ideas I’d started on stream. When everything was said and done, I spent three to four hours a day, five days a week writing music.

If I recall correctly, I released three albums in six months. The first two volumes had 13 songs each and the third had 10, and Volumes One and Two had seven original songs each. The other six songs on both albums were remixes of two EPs I worked on from 2017 through 2019. I used them so I could release Volume One a little earlier than originally planned. All in all, that was 24 original songs, some with numerous guitar parts, all within about six months’ time.

For years, I’d dreamed of doing music for a living, but after six months of spending 15-20 hours working on music in addition to streaming (which requires a different kind of energy), I was burned out. I learned that I do not want to do music full time, at least not by myself, though I’m sure I’d change my mind if there were to be a healthy salary included in doing it. Worse than that, the burn out killed my desire to play guitar, write music, or stream. It took two months before I picked the guitar up again.

In the first few days of 2022, I nearly died due to Diabetic Ketoacidosis, a condition triggered by a new medication I’d started taking regularly in November of 2021. It would take months before I’d be able to sit up for more than an hour and a half or so at a time. Even then, I turned to music to help balance the mental space I was in and I began working on new songs, not knowing if they would be for kcwm or Cold the Winter, my project for “full” songs with lyrics and vocals.

In 2022, I released four singles, one of which (“Go On”) is one I’m most proud of, composition wise, but I never recaptured that initial push. My ceiling for creative energy was much lower than it was in the previous year. I didn’t stream much of, or maybe any of, it. I worked on a few other songs, but they all remain unfinished.

D&D

In October of 2022, I began running a bi-weekly session of Dungeons and Dragons for some friends of mine, one of which was the DM of the previous session that had lasted for 2+ years. He’d been itching to play a character instead of DMing, and I wanted to provide him the opportunity to do so. Initially, I was going to use an actual D&D campaign, but made the choice to homebrew something so I could better work in the characters’ backstories and adjust things as their current stories developed. While this was, is, and will be more creatively fulfilling, it requires a lot more work.

Most of my creative energy is spent writing adventures for my players, working on the overall story, changing that story as sessions develop, and painting miniatures that I intend to use for these adventures. This has been further complicated by taking up 3D printing, though that is partially passive since I have to wait hours for the miniatures to print.

Now, I’m not complaining, not at all. I immensely look forward to our Saturday games. Only recently have I run into a situation where what I’ve planned, worked on, or adapted has given me a buffer. In theory, I don’t have to do anything D&D related for the next month to month and a half because I have enough adventures planned. Well, except painting miniatures, but I’m enjoying that.

Returning to Music

Toontrack recently announced the released of a long-awaited sequel software to EZKeys called, unsurprisingly, EZKeys 2, which is available for download starting May 16th. This software allows you to drag and drop pre-programmed MIDI grooves to create a song, choose a digital recreation of a number of key-based instruments, change and adjust the chords being played, but not manually adjust any of the notes being played to better fit what’s being played within the chords to the song. EZKeys 2 changes that, and adds a few more cool features that I’ll have to explore to have a bare understanding of how to under-utilize them.

With EZKeys 2 I intend to use keyboard and piano parts in more of my music as well. In addition to that, my friends, JD and Matt (who I worked on Low-Fi, Nice Try (LFNT) and Cold the Winter with) have started putting together ideas for the next LFNT project. What that combination of events did was help reawaken my desire to work on music again, both for them, and for kcwm.

When May 16th rolls around, I intend to start work on music again. This includes streaming a good portion of the writing process of both kcwm and LFNT music. Cold the Winter will likely be folded into kcwm in some capacity, though I haven’t fully worked out or even decided on what that would look like.

Balance

In the past, I’ve found that I struggle with having focus on more than one creative outlet at a time. Between music, D&D/painting miniatures, writing a novel, and gaming/streaming, my energy ebbs and flows between each of them, most often at the expense of the others. I know I need to find balance, but my brain, which might very well have a bit of undiagnosed ADHD going on, gets caught up with moving each hobby further along.

Recently, I did learn how to balance painting miniatures. I simply paint until what is likely arthritis in my hand forces me to stop. I do things in small bursts for about an hour a day and I’ve been able to continuously work on painting since October.

My plan is to return and stream the following:

  • Music – Working on writing songs, but not recording them (this could change). The stress of recording live was part of I think drove that burn out.
  • D&D – World building, lore, miniature painting, etc. I believe a couple of my players watch my stream, so writing campaign-specific things might not work too well
  • Gaming – I have a number of previously well thought of PC games to play: Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption 2, Baldur’s Gate 3 (which either hasn’t officially released yet or recently released), Cult of Lamb, Hades, etc. There’s also the new Zelda and Star Wars games and probably others I’d want to play.

I do miss being a part of communities, building my own, and interacting with the people I’ve met on Twitch throughout the years. It’d be cool, not to mention fulfilling, to repair some of the bridges that I’ve neglected and network again. I might be a bit of an introvert, but I do believe that people need people, even if it’s just a select few people, and places like Twitch allow introverts like me to play extrovert from time to time.

I guess that’s all for now. This was written over the course of an hour or so and just meanders around without as much focus as I’d like. About par for the course.

  • KC
DMCA-Free music, Health, KCWM

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Cold the Winter · Skylines and the Horizon

Latest Instagram Posts

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New single, artwork by @cotiecat. Hoping it will b New single, artwork by @cotiecat. Hoping it will be live on Spotify, YouTube, etc by mid-week. 

In light of the recent passings of our resident matriarch, Frau, and Cotie’s Kuwabara crossing the rainbow bridge, i thought it fitting to honor them both, and Chiclet as well. This song is dedicated to their memory, as well as anyone else who’s lost a pet at any point in time. 

This is the first single of 2023 and I hope to release 5-6 more that I’ll collect in the form of an EP in addition to remixing, rearranging, and rereleasing my previous 3 albums and 4 singles into two 14-song albums. 

I have to find balance between music and D&D. That’s my current goal for this year…creative balance.
Started posting videos about my instruments, amps, Started posting videos about my instruments, amps, and pedals I use to record music. I started off with my 1992 Fender Telecaster that’s my go to when it comes to lead parts for almost every song I’ve ever recorded. Hard to say everything I want to about this guitar in a 1 minute video. #guitar #guitarsofinstagram #fender #tele #telecaster #seymourduncan #gfs
Stripped some ghouls, skeletons, and cultists usin Stripped some ghouls, skeletons, and cultists using LA Totally Awesome and redoing them for uniformity using a rough slapchop paint job. 

I love putting color on the tabletop for my #dnd sessions, and have a soft spot for some cultists. 

There are some unpainted buddies there, one of which is my kid’s mini. Focus here is for some minion-esque baddies to sponge up some action economy. 

My players still steamroll my encounters.
Trying out the slapchop painting method for some # Trying out the slapchop painting method for some #tabletopquality orcs to use in a #dnd session. 

The three taller archers are from one of the 4e dnd board games and the others are Reaper minis, though the three squat orcs aren’t my favorites. 

I do wish I’d spent more time choosing colors for them instead of gray fur with gunmetal, but they work for what I need them to do: sit on the table in color rather than white plastic.
@totalpartychill saw your TikTok about the small m @totalpartychill saw your TikTok about the small mat, and while I love the big one, it doesn’t quite fit the normal setup we have. The small one should be perfect. Looking forward to getting it
Rejoined this ride for some 12-string goodness. I’ve read there’s a Toneprint that adds a little Chorus to really give it that 12-string goodness. Just need to find it. 

Plus, it’s an easy octave pedal to use and different from the POG2. 

#subnup #guitarpedals #tcelectronic #12stringguitar
Say hello to my little friend. He’s all eyes for Say hello to my little friend. He’s all eyes for you. 

In all seriousness, I love giant spider minis. I think this makes four or five that aren’t phase spiders. My players are in for some friends soon. I’m ok with spoilers. 

Coming soon to an adventure near you. 

Dryer sheets make for some nice webbing effects and are more durable than cotton balls. Some air dry clay wrapped in it can make for cool egg effects. 

#giantspider #tabletopquality #dnd #goodtimesgoodfriends
I have a number of minis I’m working on at the m I have a number of minis I’m working on at the moment. Here’s my table of things in different stages of #tabletopquality for use in my #dnd campaign, some of which haven’t been started or might not be used. The kobolds you see will be painted green.

When I started the genie, I didn’t realized my pre-painted one was also blue. It still works though. 

I’m still not sold on the idea of a steel dragon but it could be cool and I already have a “large” silver dragon. I used magnets on the bottom of the dragon, the large and huge bases, and I can stack them if I need it to be an adult-sized dragon. I just need to decorate them in complimentary ways. 

 I have an idea for mini painting streams and these are some of the things I’ll be painting on there.
I have a soft spot for kobolds in my DnD campaigns I have a soft spot for kobolds in my DnD campaigns. My players have met one that has hinted at future quests, they fought some green-scaled kobolds, and I foresee more in their future. 

I pulled the old minion old rule from #dnd 4e…enemies that have 1 hp and auto fail most saves. Kobolds (and goblins) make great minions. 

 I have quite a few, so I foresee more red (two of them are pre painted), green, and blue scales in my future. They might be #tabletopquality but I’m ok with that. I have fun and painting is relaxing for me. 

The red plastic minis came from a D&D board game, and tall but one of the gray and white ones are from @reaperminiatures #bones4 and #bones5
In March of 2021, I discovered the Lovepedal Purpl In March of 2021, I discovered the Lovepedal Purple Plexi and it was finally the closest I’ve come to getting that Marshall-in-a-Box pedal sound. 

Earlier this year, I picked up a Lovepedal Vintage/Modern, which is a Purple Plexi and Church of Tone in one enclosure. 

Not too long ago, I came across a post @cklabofficial posted of their take on a Purple Plexi/Jubilee, two pedals I owned at the time. I really like CKLab pedals and would have loved to have it, but, alas, I missed out. 

I reached out and asked about the possibility of a 2-in-1 from CKLAB. This is the result. 

I am beyond stoked. This will make my 3rd CKLab pedal and I hope to own more. I love the idea of support local makers and, seeing as how the Vintage/Modern is my go to drive, this will be my #1. 

Visit their store on Reverb and buy their pedals so I’m not tempted to. Seriously. The LSDelay I bought is so damned cool. 

#supportlocalpedals #cklab #miabpedals #gooddudes #newpedalday
A couple of #WIP #dndminiatures projects from this A couple of #WIP #dndminiatures projects from this weekend. I intend to use both in the #dnd campaign im running, but it will be a while before I do. 

I need to add some white lines to the texture around the iris and add something to the black section of the base. 

The mold lines on the pumpkin dude are bugging me now that I see how clear they are in the picture. Will cut those down and fix the color. 

I intend to prime up some of these #reaper #bones5 minis I have sitting on my shelves and paint them on stream. I might only paint to a #tabletopquality but it’s still fun and relaxing to do.
After picking up almost all the paints in the thir After picking up almost all the paints in the third picture, I’ve taken up mini painting again. I decided to start with a treant to work into my #dnd campaign. 

This is still a work in progress. I started with some normal paints and then added some contrast paint on the beard and to accent some of the wood. I need to make some adjustments to the paint. 

I plan to add leaves to the top but my foliage is too crumbly so I need to get some bigger chunks. 

It’s been fun. I’m likely going to stream some #minipainting on stream. I have minis to paint to get on the #tabletop, which is also the level that I paint at but it works for my table.
This kid. This past Saturday marked 10 years with This kid. This past Saturday marked 10 years with our wonderful child…a blend of her mother and I in so many ways. 

I can’t wait to see what the next 10 years bring us. She has a good head on her shoulders. 

I’m a proud parent. She’s weird AF but I wouldn’t have her any other way.
Cross post from Twitter, but I have more room here Cross post from Twitter, but I have more room here. 

This is my current stable of electric guitars, minus my Epiphone ES339.

PRS S2 McCarty 594: “Fat” rhythm. This guitar has “coil tap” which  changes the sound of the respective pickups giving me a lot of flexibility. 

Fender Telecaster (sunburst): Lead/rhythm. I do 90% of my 2nd guitar and lead work on this. It’s on every track I’ve recorded since 2018. 

Squier Classic Vibe ‘60s Stratocaster: General rhythm. Newest addition. Everyone needs a strat, even if I rarely grab one. 

Fender Road-worn ‘50s Telecaster (purple): Bright rhythm. 

Gibson Les Paul Classic: “Fat” rhythm. My #1 guitar. It’s crunchy compared to the smoother sound of the PRS

PRS SC245 Ted McCarty: Bright rhythm. 

Squier ‘51 (modified): Lead

Yes, some guitars overlap but they sound different than their role-siblings. Wood, pickups, etc. I compare guitars to chocolate…yes, they’re all guitars but they do things differently. Hersheys doesn’t taste the same as Toblerone or Ritter Sport. Milk chocolate differs from dark chocolate. Heck, I even threw a peanut butter comparison up there. 

I have two basses and an acoustic. One of those basses is new so I’m not sure of the roles just yet. 

#kcwmmusic #dmcafreemusic #guitarsarelikechocolate #gearaddiction #guitar
Bought a new caddy from Michaels and was able to s Bought a new caddy from Michaels and was able to stack my unopened #nolzursmarvelousminiatures and #reaperbonesminiatures to better see what I have. 

Left row is full of player mini and humanoids, the middle row is made up of monstrous humanoids and undead, and the right row consists of elementals and fiendish things. 

I have a lot of minis to paint, but this helps me visualize what I have left between the shelves and this caddy.
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